My Big Time Rush Super Bloopers ish
by texaskid
Summary: A look at what The Super Blooper show could have been. But remember not everything is as it seems. For the Semi-Official BTR Oneshot day Feb 8, 2013 (Though I'm certain last year it was on the sixth). Set in the same universe as Big Time Sister.


_**Hey guys. I hope you enjoy this little one shot. I wasn't sure what I wanted to write about but I wanted to put one up today. This is sorta a companion piece to the story Big Time Sister, as it's set in the same world as that. I hope you like it. If you don't, leave me a review. I do not own anything you recognize from Big Time Rush or even some of the characters in here as they are taken mostly straight from the episode Big Time Bloopers. Enjoy.**_

* * *

"Hey guys." Kylie said as the boys wandered out of the bedroom hallway and headed for the table. They all muttered greetings then sat down at the table.

Then Kendall's nose scrunched up like he was sniffing something. "What are you making?" Kendall asked.

"Eggs." Kylie answered holding up a large pan of scrambled eggs.

"Kylie, you don't like eggs." Kendall said. "You said they always scare you because they're made from baby chickens that haven't had time to develop into chickens."

"You know that's not actually true." Logan said. "The eggs we eat aren't fertilized and therefore will not develop into chickens even if you left them to hatch. Well most of them aren't. The FDA recommends that you don't sell them if they are fertilized."

"Why are we talking about fertilization at the breakfast table?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"We were talking about chicken eggs and why I don't like them." Kylie answered.

"I see. So you just made them for everyone else?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Yes. And plenty." Kylie said tipping them huge pile onto a plate then brought that, a plate of toast, a stack of chocolate chip bagels, the grape jelly, chocolate syrup, and a pitcher of orange juice to the table.

"I see waiting tables runs in the family." James said.

"Shut up." Kylie answered having put everything down then smacked her boyfriend across the back of the head. "In other news I had the weirdest dream last night." Kylie said.

"A weird dream? Weirder than us being in a cartoon?" Carlos asked. "'Cause that's what my dream was about."

"You mean our voices being used in a cartoon, our whole world being turned into a cartoon, or our background being turned into a cartoon like the guy and his dog who find hints and ... stuff?" Kylie asked.

"Doesn't matter." Katie said. "I want to hear more about your dream. Was I in it?"

"Yes. All of us were. Even Chris Paul dropped by." Kylie said.

"Chris Paul, the huge basketball player?" Katie asked.

"Yup. Turns out we were all actors on this show called, you guessed it _Big Time Rush._ It's basically about our lives but turned into a TV show. Not like when Griffin tried to turn your lives into a reality show but rather like ... like something like _New Town High_ only about our lives. And the four boys who played you four had all the same first names as y'all." Kylie said.

"And the actress that played you? What was her name?" Carlos asked.

"Meg, Megan Jones, and she wasn't a natural blonde either." Kylie said spreading grape jelly on her bagel then she added chocolate syrup to it.

"That's gross." Logan said. "But go on."

"Tell us how it all started." Kendall said.

"You don't want to hear about my cartoon dream?" Carlos asked.

"No," everyone else answered. Carlos frowned but everyone turned back to Kylie.

"Well it all started when Kendall was supposed to be directing his first episode ever called _Big Time Bear._" Kylie looked at the ceiling bringing back the dream.

The four boys were standing in front of a building marked Big Time Rush editing suites. From the boys' left it went James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan. Each boy was standing in a thinking pose with their left arm crossed across their chest and their right hand holding their chin.

"What ya thinking about?" A brown haired girl asked popping her head between Kendall and Carlos as she clamped a hand down on each one's shoulder.

"Uh hey Meg." Logan said. The girl looked at him curiously then smiled. "We just finished editing the episode of _Big Time Bear_ and as we walked out here to take the video to the studio we were sorta fighting over it. Then suddenly it flew out of our hands and then it kinda got squashed."

"Squashed by what?" Meg asked.

"By a marching band, a road roller, and a street sweeper." Carlos said sheepishly.

"Ok the marching band I get. There's this band thing down the street." Meg pointed to the right with her right hand. "And the street sweeper, roads are kinda dirty. But what the heck is a road roller doing on an already paved road. The nearest construction isn't for three miles and you don't have to go through the studio to get to it."

"We know that. Help us figure out what we're going to do." Kendall said.

"What you're going to do?" Meg asked. "You have three hours to film an entire new episode. Three hours. With Erin out of town for the next two days that means an episode without Camille, and me as a brunette, there's no way it's going to happen. I play a girl who is a natural blonde, Kylie can not be seen as a brunette. Not many people know I don't actually have blonde hair." Meg said.

"People already saw you as a brunette in _Big Time Interview_ where your character was shooting scenes for _Seaside High_." Logan pointed out.

"Guys what are we going to do about tonight's episode?" James asked.

Meg scratch her head then pulled out her phone. "Hey Scott." Meg said.

"Scott Fellows?" James asked.

Meg waved him off. "Hey it's Meg Jones. I told you the boys wouldn't have an episode ready by tonight. They had just finished editing it when somehow it flew out of their hands and landed in the street where it got run over by a road roller and a street sweeper and you know them they forgot to back it up." Meg paused listening to the creator and executive producer for the show. "Yeah that will work. Just get a celeb to guest host and I think Ciara and Glickman are still around. Have them host it." Meg said. "Thanks Scott." She hung up and the four boys looked at her.

"You have our creator and executive producer Scott Fellows on speed dial?" Kendall asked.

"Yes. Because mainly he bet me that you boys would have the show finished and at the network's office before they had to air it. Turns out he lost. He suggested doing the super blooper show though. He's got a bunch of stuff already put together and once they film the hosting bits with Ciara a.k.a. Katie and Stephan a.k.a. Gustavo they'll be ready to shoot it. Maybe next time boys." Meg said.

"Then I say we watch it at my house." James said.

"I love your new place, let's go." Meg said.

"And you're not going to invite your boyfriend?" Kendall asked.

"My boyfriend?" Meg asked.

"Uh my brother? Kevin? You've been dating for like—" Kendall said.

"You do know we broke up right?" Meg asked.

"When?" Carlos asked stunned.

"Uh August. For no reason at all. He just walked away. Now suddenly he's playing the supposed Prince in my modern day sleeping beauty movie." Meg said as they headed for the cars.

"Opposite your sleeping beauty?" James asked.

"Yes. I haven't talked to him in a while."

"Since when?" Kendall asked.

"Since I found out a week ago that he's staring in the movie too. I haven't been back to film that either." Meg shrugged and the subject was dropped. Soon they were all at James's place and in his living room kicking up their feet to watch the new episode.

"It's the Big Time Rush Big Time Super Bloopers Show with Ciara Bravo, Stephen Kramer Glickman, and a secret celebrity guest." An announcer said then the opening credits rolled. However they weren't the original opening credits. They had been changed and Meg was sorta ok with that.

After a brief bit of commercials the show was back and the announcer said "Tonight on the Super Bloopers Show you'll see Carlos bash into stuff," Carlos did just that tripping over a plant on screen, "Logan bust a move," as Logan danced on some bubble wrap from the episode _Big Time Surprise_, "James crack up," as James laughed at Kendall, "Kendall freak out," as Kendall was scared by Carlos jumping out of the box from the episode _Big Time Move_, "And Megan try not to laugh at them all."

Meg flushed knowing how hard it was for her not to laugh at the boys and how hard they tried to get her to laugh. Then she watched as a clip from the episode _Bel Air Rush_ played. James had just pulled her into his lap at the end of the episode and then without the director noticing James had tickled her side. It was all she could do not to laugh while trying to say her lines.

"And now here's Ciara Bravo, Stephen Kramer Glickman, and fake applause." The announcer said as the camera panned to them. Ciara introduced the first set of classic bloopers after a bit of banter with Stephen about Chris Paul and they watched as James slipped, Kendall and Stephen both flubbed their lines, Carlos crashed into a potted plant and a wall, James cracked a smile during a serious moment, Logan licked a vase, Kelly played by Tanya Chisholm inventing a new word called balbum, Ciara flubbing another line, then Stephen again, and Matt Riedy who played Arthur Griffin completely forget his line. After that there were more forgotten lines and one shot of Kendall getting a phone call.

"Who was the call from?" Logan asked.

"I think it was Meg." Kendall answered.

"Sorry about that." Meg said.

The last clip of the set was of Kylie talking to Kendall. "I understand that Kendall," Kylie was saying "but running isn't—Oh my god does the camera have to be so close?" Meg finished looking at the camera that was less than six inches behind Kendall as said boy cracked up. Meg made a funny face and both them and the crew behind the camera cracked up.

"You still have a problem with the camera being that close, don't you?" Carlos said.

"That's what the zoom button is for." Meg answered knowingly.

The screen went back to Ciara and Stephen and they talked about popping into and fainting out of screen then had a challenge to see who was the winner of the pop ups and faint outs. The boys and Meg played along and both times Meg won picking Carlos as the pop up king and James as the faint out king.

Then they showed a full run of prop bloopers when props fell apart or weren't working properly or things being thrown. Meg's favorite was a tie between the clip of the episode _Big Time Terror_ when Kendall caught a plant as it was wobbling off the edge of the counter it was sitting on and when Carlos had to put a live cricket in his mouth for the episode _Backstage Rush_. The boys however loved the blooper where Meg had been unable to catch the phone Kendall had tossed her in _Green Time Rush._

"Would you catch the phone already?" Kendall asked her on screen.

"If you learn to throw it." Meg/Kylie had said.

"It was a simple five foot toss and you couldn't catch it." Carlos said from the couch watching her try on screen for the fifth time.

"Well he couldn't throw it either." Meg answered from next to him. "So sue me, it wasn't all my fault as I played hockey growing up not baseball or football." She finished as she finally caught the phone on screen and cried "Huzzah!"

The boys all rolled their eyes and the group went back to watching the show about their bloopers. This time the hit your mark bloopers. Along with all the ones of the boys and Stephen and Tanya missing their mark they showed one of Meg slipping and sliding across the Palm Woods park set and eventually falling on her butt. The boys picked on her about it again and her only comment was that the grass was all wet and it wasn't her fault.

After this they went to commercial and the boys got up for refills. "So is it really that bad?" Meg asked looking at Kendall.

"No, I guess the blooper show can be fun." Kendall said.

"And the fans love it. Check out Twitter." Meg said holding up the search page.

"True." Kendall said.

When the show came back from commercials it showed scenes of what they called still rolling where the camera was rolling but the director hadn't called action or cut in some cases. From there they had another challenge called what will they do next. "Now it's time to play What will they do next?" Ciara said.

"We're going to play you a blooper clip and then you have to guess what will they do next." Stephen added.

"First up, Logan." Ciara said then played a clip from _Big Time Crush._ Right as he screwed up his line the clip stopped.

"Ok," Stephen said, "What will Logan do next? A) Apologize and promise to do better next time?"

"B) Curl up in the fetal position and cry." Ciara added.

"Oh that one, that one, that one." Meg cried.

"Or C)," Steven said in a high pitched voice acting as though the cutout of Chris Paul he had been using all through the show was talking, "Throw an air punch to his co-star?"

"Let's find out." Stephen said in his normal voice.

The clip continued and the answer turned out to be C as Ciara said. "If you said C, you are right a bunch of times. That's what Logan does every time he bloopers." Then they showed a bunch of clips of him doing just that.

"Do you remember the one scene we were talking and you did that?" Meg asked.

"I've done that to you like three or four times." Logan said.

"No that one time." Meg said looking at him expectantly.

"You mean that one time we all thought he had broken your nose?" James asked.

"Yup." Meg smirked.

"Wasn't that the day my brother Kenneth came to visit set?" Kendall asked.

"And the day Tyler brought his girlfriend." Meg said mentioning her real brother Tyler Jones who played drums for the band. "During season two we were filming _Big Time Contest_. The scene where Logan and I were sitting in the park discussing Kylie's crush on James and he messes up a line and of course throws an air punch. Of course from the camera angle it looked like he actually did hit me. My hands flew up to hide my nose and the director's hollering for us to redo the scene."

"That's when I noticed the blood dripping down your face." James said.

"And alerted everyone else. Everyone rushes over and Scott was begging me to remove my hands. I didn't want to but the look on your faces, I so bad wanted to laugh. Finally Tyler's girlfriend runs over being in training for her nursing degree and just finished a bout as an ER nurse. She escorts me off set with the directors, producers, and my agent following." Meg said.

"We were all right there too." Carlos defended.

"True." Meg said. "By the time she had managed to get my hands down the prop and stunt guy who had been in on it and were filming it were trying so hard not to laugh. The look on your faces. It was hilarious. She looks me over and seems confused and finally she reaches out and tastes it. She came to the conclusion that it was corn syrup and food dye."

"You told us it was for screwing with you and trying to make you break character." Kendall said.

"It was all Kenneth's idea, his and Tyler's. I told them about you guys messing me with and they came up with it. Shhh, new clip." Meg said.

"If you missed that one have another try this time with Meg who plays Kylie Knight." Stephen said. This time the clip was from _Big Time Double Date._

"You do realize you just took my baby—" The screen paused and Meg smiled on the couch wondering what the options would be.

"Will she A) Do a backflip and break out dancing?" Ciara asked.

"B) Continue on like nothing happen?" Stephen added.

"Or C) Get really embarrassed and hide her face?" Cutout Chris asked.

This time the clip replayed. Kylie looked at James on screen and frowned. "You do realize you took my baby ... my itty bitty baby ... You realize you took my baby sister out on a date right?" Kylie said.

On screen James was then shown laughing.

"If you said B you're right. Meg never likes missing her lines so she'll continue on like nothing has happened." Ciara said. The clips continued of Meg doing that.

"I always wondered why you did that." James said from next to Kendall on the couch.

"Not my fault I don't have that much acting experience. My agent gets mad when I screw things up even though Scott is laid back about it." Meg said.

After an interview with the bear suit and clips of what it could have been if the bear suit had been cast as Kelly, Bitters, or Kendall, the show was winding down. "Time now for our last Super Blooper category of the night and my favorite, the classic Don't Laugh Blooper." Ciara said.

"These should be interesting." Meg said drowning out what Stephen was making the cut out say.

"It's a cut out, it's all it can do." Ciara said.

"The show's not over yet." Stephen said.

"Ok." Ciara said excitedly. "You are warned. While watching these bloopers do not laugh."

Then the cutout started talking again. "And see if you can spot who made the super bloopiest giggle of all time." Meg rolled her eyes as they rolled clips of the boys and herself trying not to laugh.

Several times when it came to Meg it was of her trying to shoot a romantic scene with James as they were dating on the show and the other boys in the background just off camera pulling faces to make her laugh.

"Why do you guys do that to me? Do you know how awkward it is to have to shoot a scene where I supposed to be kissing him in the first place and then you guys are over there making faces and horsing around while I'm trying to do it? He's like my baby brother and I have to kiss him in front of a camera and like fifty people then you guys are screwing around and making it draw out even longer." Meg said.

"Well if you didn't stay in character so well then we wouldn't have to try so hard. You made it a challenge though." Logan said.

"How you mean?" Meg asked.

"You're always in character once they call action, we have to break it sometimes. It sorta became a challenge as to who can make Meg break character. It relieves tension." Logan explained.

"Yeah alright." Meg rolled her eyes.

The show ended with clips of their biggest hits, more like them getting hit, or slipping and falling and then a short clip of Chris Paul rushing in asking about the hosting gig.

* * *

"Ok that was weird Kylie." Kendall said.

Kylie looked up from her bagels and nodded. "Yeah, you're telling me." Kylie answered.

"Not as cool as my cartoon dream." Carlos claimed.

"I never said it would be. I said my dream was weird." Kylie said.

"Boys since Kylie cooked it's your turn to clear and do dishes. Kylie, if you and Katie don't leave now you'll miss the audition for the modeling Brooke asked you about." Mrs. Knight said.

"Can you take us? My car is still in the shop." Kylie said.

"Sure." Mrs. Knight answered. Kylie grabbed her bag and then they left.

* * *

_**Now before you go reporting me and getting all indignant and upset let me remind you this was a dream Kylie had and not a real person story. The main difference she never said any of the boys' last name though she did mention a couple other people. But like I said it was all a dream. I hope you liked it. Let me know. Oh and anyone else notice that after they upload a way to copy and paste entries in to upload them as stories or chapters the grammar has severely degraded in stories? I ask that people don't use it unless it's a last resort. It's always better to have a word processor that checks your spelling and grammar. My thought at least.**_


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